Wednesday, April 25, 2012

我最敬爱的公公


阿公一直都是瘦瘦的,身体也没有很强壮,尤其这几年一直都往医院跑。他是一关又一关地熬过的,从日渐更加消瘦,偶尔神志不清,胃口不好甚至到后来的行动不便,好几次当我们以为就快要失去他的时候他都坚强地挺过去了,现在他真的累了,希望他能好好睡一觉,不再觉得辛苦。

其实我收到消息时是很平静的,甚至松了一口气,阿公来得及回到家中而且在那么多亲人的陪伴下陷入永眠,到了一个不再有烦恼和痛苦的世界,这对他是一种解脱,对于不舍得他受苦的我们也是一种安慰。

现在回想起来,其实从小到大我跟阿公并没有特别地亲近,有时候甚至觉得阿公是传统的大男人,习惯在我们面前板起威严的面孔,有点爱面子也很固执。

我还记得他慢慢卷起烟草然后静静抽着烟的样子,记得他坐在藤椅上看报纸的背影,也记得无数次想跟他聊天却找不到话题而放弃的自己。那时候的他最大的寄托就是果园,往往在那里一待就是大半天,阿公细心地清理榴莲壳上沾着的叶子和泥巴的样子也是我童年记忆里不可磨灭的一个画面;直到他身体开始虚弱没办法再到果园去了,我好象看到他的寂寞。

开始觉得阿公其实很可爱是在最近几年的事,我不清楚是阿公在改变还是我根本就不曾了解过他,可是这样的阿公我真的很喜欢。

也许是在我们一个接一个长大离家后,也许是惊觉阿公阿婆的背越来越驼脚越来越抖了;不确定是什么时候开始时常都会笼罩在失去的恐惧之中。可能阿公自己也明白每一次的相聚都越显珍贵,于是三代人之间的鸿沟慢慢出现了一条小桥,我们也终于发现阿公其实不是想象中那么有距离感,这一个老人也会开玩笑,看见大家开心也会默默地扬起嘴角而不是只有印象中的严肃表情。

我记得有一年除夕阿公来我们家时我们在搓汤圆,阿公难得说等下也要吃一碗,结果那一锅汤圆就因为用错粉而搞砸了,让姐姐成了多年来的笑柄。我也记得最后一个与阿公共度的新年,我们在停电中摸黑接完财神想去阿公家拜年,还来不及出门就看见阿公领着一大群黄家军团浩浩荡荡地来到了,他戴着从中国买回来造型奇特的帽子笑说自己是大老爷,我们在黑暗的大厅中排队向大老爷讨红包并放肆地说说笑笑,恢复电力时一起欢呼然后在阿公面前耍宝拍照,大人小孩都疯成一团,阿公坐在沙发上含笑地看着,那时候的我觉得能出生在这样的家庭里,真好!

一年一度的榴莲大会,每次大家回乡都会浩浩荡荡一起走去面店吃早餐,永远吱吱喳喳说个没完没了的八卦军团,就算是说人是非也大声讲大声笑非常乱水的一家人,那一年的火锅大餐....每一件发生过的事每一张记忆中的笑脸都是家人之间的密码,不需说明大家都有解锁的默契。以后大厅中少了阿公坐镇,我们要更努力的欢笑,让在天堂的阿公也能看到听到,就像他不曾离开过一样。

没办法亲自送阿公这一程对我来说是一种遗憾,因此我也成了要被重点安慰的对象之一,大家异口同声地叫我不要想太多,说阿公会明白我的心意等等;还尽量与我保持连线,我甚至参与了超渡仪式也瞻仰了阿公的遗容,有机会在心里与阿公做最后的对话,我的遗憾也得到了弥补,谢谢我的家人。
希望阿公现在有很好的胃口,可以放心地享受任何他想吃的东西。
希望阿公现在有很好的体魄,不需要轮椅不需要拐杖也能健步如飞,去任何他想去的地方。
希望阿公现在有很好的心情,不再对尘世牵挂,得到了前所未有的自由。
这一个开心的阿公会一直活在我们心里,陪我们继续在人世间流浪。

要经过多少次的轮回才能修来成为亲人的缘分?
现在我含泪完成了这一篇追悼文,以后就让我们以笑容来回忆这个倔强又可爱的老人,謝謝他给了我们浓于水的血缘,让我们有了无论生与死也无法切断的牵绊。

亲爱的阿公,一路走好!by-Nicole.



我要说的其实堂姐都把一部分打完了,真的后悔为什么没有把握跟你好好聊聊,孝顺你的机会。阿公,过得还好吗?很想念你。。。
听妈妈说,阿公是个很有义气的人,年轻时候不管兄弟有什么事都会挺。
阿公的这一生真的过得非常的精彩,他当过抗日军,抗英军,他还是许多社团的大哥,为国家付出了许多,就算没有钱都很重情义。
以前的社团不是现在的黑色会,是为华人付出的团体。 
阿公曾担任过村长整十多年,也说是村里最久的村长。


Photobucket 很心疼。。 Photobucket Photobucket 就算再多么的不舍,都要让你在最后一程看见我们的微笑。 Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket 阿公的兄弟。 Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket 风光大葬。 阿公是让全村人抬着绕村子走的亡生者。 Photobucket

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Rest in peace, my beloved grandpa.

I was watching tv at the moment, and my sister ran to us told us grandpa just passed away. I felt shocked and I didnt cry because we knew he cant live long period anymore. I feel shocked because doctor said he can still have 2 days time and suddenly....


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2011年1月8日,晚上8点50分
今年86岁的他离开了我们。。。

今晚的月亮很圆很美丽,公公很安详的走了。
这对他来说是一种解脱吧。
公公,一路好走。愿你在天堂过着平静的生活。


看着你的照片,妹妹和我眼泪一直往下流。
现在满脑子都是你的画面,真的真的很想你。
以前都不会表示对你的爱及尊敬,现在真的有点后悔。
安息吧,我最尊敬的公公。
我长大了,放一百个心走吧。我会照顾妹妹们的。。。

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Bye to my original hair colour

Bye bye to my original hair colour! :)
As you guys know, previously my original hair colour looks like ang mo. But still I wanted to dye it and try another colour. My original hair colour look like ash brown when the sunlight shines on it. And this is the first time I dye my hair and I prefer light golden brown but it turns out another colour which seems abit red. But still, I like it. Thanks to Jia Yun for helping me to dye it. :)

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Bye bye my original hair colour. I will miss you :(

Photobucket Hello, new colour! :)

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry X'mas! :)

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So sad that I cant spend my Christmas in Singapore, but glad that I spent with my best buddy Shermaine this year. :)
We had a lot of fun taking photos around, this is the very first time using red lipstick. It turns out not so bad. :)

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Merry Christmas everyone!

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Shooo shoooo go away SPM!

STRESSSSS STRESSSSS STRESSSSS!
SPM finally officially END!
WOOOORAYYYYY :))
IM FREEEEEEE :)

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

The final day of being a secondary school student

Today is the final day of being a secondary school student. It's my very very last day of being a student in PGS. I love PGS, I love everyone in PGS. How I wish I could act as a form 1 student and go back to my school again :(




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那些年。我们一起GOSSIP的日子...

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My deskmate, Tan Si Qi

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English teacher, Pn Norhayati
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BM teacher, Pn Mazila.

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Teacher advisor of Netball aka discipline teacher,Pn Chin
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Account teacher, Pn Azfariza

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5S4 2011 ROCKSSS!

Monday, October 10, 2011

My Big Day'11

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!
Im officially 17 years old. :)
8/10/11
What a beautiful day, We went to Sri Botani, Eco Park to have a picnic.
Nothing much to say, I just have a memorable 17th birthday with you awesome peoples! Love you guys :)


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A-W-E-S-O-M-E people. :)

Photobucket Dancing Queen, Low Xiiao Lin. She's the one who choreograph our class performance.

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Thank you Wong Chie Kheng for the birthday card. I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH!
Photobucket Beauty and the beast. I mean the birthday card.

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Water war!

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Photobucket Hyuna wannabe. Bubble pop-ing

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I love to spend time with nature. Beauty.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

f5 farewell

Yesterday was Form 5 Farewell which held in our school hall.
We did had a lot of fun and joy in this farewell party. We danced like nobody business.

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Everyone is Im The Best-ing

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Im gonna leave PGS so soon.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Cadet Farewell

Yes, It's our farewell. Cadet Farewell.
I reckon all of you know, How much I care how much I love Cadet from the day i joined this society.
nothing much to say, still I love Cadet although it's been a complicated year this year.

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Senior, Tan Wee Nee. She's niceee :)

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Once A Cadet, Always A Cadet